Saturday, July 29, 2017

Good Guy #3

During my 2017 “Good Guy Tour” 
I met up with Good Guy #3. 
A High School Friend. 
Then an Early Adult Love. 

Good Guy #3 was a ray of light in my life 
when many things were dark in my world. 
We had not seen each other for 20 years!!!
It was wonderful & powerful to reconnect. 

Shared here is a highlight 
of our experience reconnecting
along with some of my SoulCollage creations. 
SoulCollage honoring 
our High School times
and love of Prince. 
 
It was sweet that after so many years,
we were able to dive right in. 
There was a point 
when I was listening to & watching him 
and I thought...oh my goodness...
Good Guy #3 is the male version of me!  

It was so trippy to observe 
some of my energy patterns 
in another person. 

The animated way in which he spoke.  
His story telling passion. His imagination. 
The light & joy that resides 
as a natural tenant of his spirit.
It all reminded me of me.
  A Powerful Mirror to Peer Into. 

Shadow Story Telling
Good Guy #3 shared with me amazing tales
of his life since we last saw each other 
experience dancing with devils & slaying dragons. 

Not many people have tales such as mine
 of traveling through the underbelly of the beast. 
He did. 
Once again, another mirror of me in him.  


At one point in our sharing I thought:
 “We are talking about Shadow way too much.”
I felt an unease grow in my body. 

I used to be addicted to Shadow.
Now that I've emerged from my 8 year Death Lodge, 
I no longer dwell in the UnderWorld. 
I now speak of Light. 

Being around someone that had equal tales to tale 
and a wonderfully animated way in which to tell them
made me see I needed a new set of boundaries
around the stories I told of my past, 
and with the energy frequencies 
I engaged in conversation with. 

Initially, I thought the boundary I needed to create
around my past and all its shadowy forms, 
was to not talk about it anymore. 
To silence it completely.
...and that worked for a while.

However, hanging out with Good Guy #3
and moving though a 20 year "catch up" experience,
...there was no way around some aspects of my story.

I spoke of things I had not talked about for years.

I know I am not to be silent.
I know part of my journey is to write a book.
To share the tale of my past,
and the healing journey
I took through the UnderWorld.
I am excited about this calling in many ways.

However, there is a hesitation inside of me. 
Sharing my story with the world 
will call a certain frequency into my life.
People that have powerful experiences of pain 
will find a resonance with my journey
and want to share their pain with me; 
to share with someone who understands
and who has been there. 

As I hold space for both the silence & the telling 
the question that emerged for me was: 
How do I engage my light work  in the MiddleWorld, 
while also being of service to those 
in the depths of the UnderWorld...

without going back in myself. 

As I contemplated this question
the guidance that came to me was: 
My practice over these next 7 years 
as I apprentice in the MiddleWorld 
 is to stand at the doorway of the Underworld 
as a Light Source. 

I can stand at this threshold
 giving guidance, hope & courage 
to those in their emulsification process 
in the depths of the Underworld. 
However, I do not need to go down 
into the shadows to support them,
nor, do I need to descend into the depths
to rescue them.



The image of the Lighthouse emerged
as a tool to anchor me in the MiddleWorld.
It keeps me supported so I do not slide back into
old addictions with Shadow.

Lighthouses do not go around trying to save people.
they stand in one spot, solid in their light
and in that grounded assuredness
they offer their value to those navigating
rough waves & and rugged shorelines.


I am grateful I had an opportunity
to meet with a dear beloved from the past.
One I have history with,
and one that also had extreme experiences
some very similar to mine.
Seeing this mirror helped me
in my strengthening process.



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