Wednesday, June 27, 2018

The Site of Initial Fracture

 As part of my initiation
  into my Second Adulthood, 
I visited my childhood neighborhood
in San Diego, CA. 
You can read more about this in my blog 
"Trip Down Memory Lane"
On this trip, there were 4 locations 
I wanted to visit on a one block radius.  
You can read about Location #3 in my blog 
"Inspired by Decapitation"

Now to share a bit about Locations 1 & 2;
2 houses on a cult-a-sac
in a suburban neighborhood
next to the Tijuana border.  

This is where I received the initial fracture 
between my Sacral & Heart Chakras,
and my Sacred Wound 
from the Divine Masculine. 

Location #1
The house I grew up in. 
It is here, where the Divine Masculine,
 in the form of my father, 
pushed my life force away,
and instilled in me a deep fear of Man. 

Location #2
The house of a childhood friend. 
It is here, where the Divine Masculine,
in the form of a friends father, 
molested me for several years. 

Here is a SoulCollage card I created
around these two energies in my life.

The polarity of these experiences,
the pushing away & devouring of
by these 2 men,
over several years,
created many conflicting beliefs in me 
about my sexuality & value as a female. 

Many of these beliefs traveled with me 
into adulthood, greatly influencing 
how I expressed & repressed
my sexuality and interacted with men.

As I enter this new phase of my life
I am seeing beliefs that no longer serve me,  
or the larger vision I have for love & relationship 
with myself & man. 

To prepare for my visit 
to Locations 1 & 2 
I engaged in a 3 night ceremony process.

Night One
In shamanic journey space,
I called on the Divine Masculine 
to show up in a way that felt safe & vital.
I was retuning to a childhood location 
where I was introduced to 
shadow aspects of man... 
now I wanted something filled with light.
 An Angel appeared

It was wonderful to see 
the light of the Divine in this form. 
The Angel & I connected  
in this ethereal space of consciousness. 
We eye gazed, heart connected 
and became familiar with one another. 
I felt safe & inspired. 

Night Two
I called the male Angel back into journey space,
this time we met at the top of the cult-a-sac
of the street where I grew up. 
I wanted his light anchored there 
for my future arrival in the flesh. 

We sat side by side on the hot asphalt 
between Locations 1 & 2 
and rooted our connection & presence
into that space. It was nice
to have him there with me 
for my first “visit” back to this location. 
Night Three
I met the male Angel at the top of the cult-a-sac, 
and this time, I shared with him 
stories of what happened in these 2 locations. 

He held my hand, 
put his winged arm around me, 
and listened. 
He did not think less of me 
for having had these experiences. 

I told him of the defense mechanisms 
I created from these 2 experiences 
and how they influenced
my life & relationships with men.

I told him about the model of Wholeness 
I am now living, and my desire 
 to alchemize poison from these experiences 
so I can turn them into an elixir 
that inspires my current service model of living. 

The male Angel listened... 
and loved Me. 

Being held in the gaze & space 
of the Divine Masculine in this way 
during each of these 3 nights of ceremony 
supported me deeply during my in-person visit,
which I'll share about in a future blog. 

I am so grateful for my practice 
and the tools I've gathered over the years 
to support me in healing the past, 
and empowering my now,
so my future has more light in it.
Ponderings for your Wild Soul Wanderings

* What places hold powerful memories for you?
* What is your Sacred Wound?
* What limiting beliefs do you have around your life force?   
* How were these beliefs initially formed?
* How have these beliefs influenced your life?
* What fractures in your being are ready for connection? 
* What new beliefs are you ready to live?
* What angels are available to support your wholeing?

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Monday, April 2, 2018

Snow White Adventures

It’s been super fun 
to start my Second Adulthood 
exploring archetypal motifs 
of my life journey 
through the lens of Fairy Tales. 

A perfect MiddleWorld activity to engage in 
as I step into a new phase of my life.
Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs
This Fairy Tale has many layers to explore
as a mirror for ones life journey. 
This blog shares some of the layers I explored, 
along with SoulCollage cards
that emerged along the way. 
It's fascinating how the theme of 7 
is present throughout this story.

Seven is a powerful number for me. 
Mainly because it ties into 
the Chakra model I've been 
apprenticing to for decades. 

7 (Seven) is a common number 
found in mystery school teachings
and various religions of spiritual theology. 
Snow White was 7 years old 
when she was exiled to the woods 
by her Evil Queen Mother...To Die. 

In the original Grimm Brothers tale, 
the Evil Queen ordered a hunter 
to kill Snow White & bring back her organs 
to prove her death. 

The hunter, 
taken by Snow White's beauty,
let her go & killed an animal instead. 
He brought the organs to the Evil Queen
who cooked & ate them 
thinking they were her daughter.'s that for Motherly Love?

The Evil Queen is said to portray 
characteristics of the 7 Deadly Sins
Pride. Greed. Envy. Lust. Gluttony. Wrath. Sloth. 
After the Hunter released Snow White, 
she traversed up & down 7 mountains 
to reach the Dwarfs cottage in the woods. 

There she found shelter, safety & companionship 
by offering home tending services to the Dwarfs. 
Together they took care of one another. 
As I equate my personal life story 
to Snow White's adventure through the woods,  
I see the experience of my First Adulthood 
as climbing the 7 Mountains of the Chakras

Snow White must have had deep traumas 
from being so hated by her mother. 
I know this energy frequency well.  

Chakra Psychology was a helpful tool 
on my journey of healing & wholeing
from the Mother Wound. 
Each of the 7 dwarfs had a unique essence, 
a quality identified through name.  
Snow White lived in relationship 
with these 7 characters, and together 
they found a way to co-habitat. 

Using this metaphor as a portal into 
my own being, I contemplate... 
What are my 7 core character traits?
One of them must be Joyful. 
Another way I explored the theme of Seven 
was naming the 7 core relationships 
of my First Adulthood. 

This was a powerful process
and wonderful contemplation. 

I enjoyed creating this SoulCollage card
honoring the amazing Cast of Characters
that was instrumental 
to the development of my First Adulthood. 
There's more to the Snow White story... 
The Evil Queen continued her obsession 
with Snow White's death.

She sent 3 evil packages to Snow White 
while she lived in the Dwarfs cottage. 
The first 2 times, the Dwarfs were able 
to save Snow White from peril. 
The third time was to speak.
The poison apple did the trick. 
Snow White took a bite 
and fell into a deep sleep.

I equate this part of the story to my own 
7 year Death Lodge in the UnderWorld. 
A journey I'll share more about 
in future blogs. 

Until's a 5 min video 
sharing more about Snow White 
and the SoulCollage cards
that came alive for me. 
Snow White Contemplations
- How are the "7 Deadly Sins" present in your life? 
- How has beauty saved your life? 
- Who are the 7 core relationships in your life? 
- What are your 7 main character qualities? 
- What sleep are you waking up from? 

Fairy Tale Archives 
Read about my journey through 
Little Red Riding hood

Stay Connected 

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Little Red Riding Hood

The fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood"
is one that deeply resonates with me. 

It's a tale of a young girl,
sent out into the woods by her mother. 
On the way to her grandmothers house, 
the girl meets a wolf with devious intentions.
I recently immersed myself in the tale 
of Little Red Riding Hood
as part of my preparation process 
for my trip to San Diego and 
the neighborhood I grew up in.

This blog highlights my interpretation
of Little Red Riding Hood
as it relates to my own epic adventure 
through the Wild Woods of Life. 

Featured here are my photos & SoulCollage cards. 
For the sake of this blog, 
I have covered nudity with the @ symbol. 

...into the woods we go... 

During my early childhood,
my Gram was a bright light in my world. 
I loved going to her home & spending time with her. 
We laughed, played, ate & loved one another. 
She made darkness in other parts of my life 
dim for a period of time.
She was an angel to me. 

Below is one of the first SoulCollage cards
I made about my Gram. 
That's her in the right corner.

When I was about 14, my parents moved me 
from San Diego to Oklahoma. 
I lived there for a few years 
before leaving them 
and setting out on my own. 

It took about 5 years to get on my feet 
after leaving my parents. 
Homeless & Alone in the world
introduced me to many dark wolves
to which I paid steep prices
 for survival & passage.

There were traumas I experienced
during this phase of my life
that took years to heal from.

Creating the below SoulCollage card
to honor & integrate these experiences
into my larger story
was deeply healing & wholeing.

Utilizing the container of a Fairy Tale
supported this part of my own story
to come alive in an archetypal way. 

I eventually made it to my grandmothers house. 
She was sick when I found her. 
I became a caregiver for her, for 10+ years. 
It was my turn to be an angel for her.
I was there until she died. 

Little Red Grows Up 
A part left out of the fairy tale 
about Little Red Riding Hood
is the defense mechanisms she had as an adult
from her traumas in the woods!! 

 In my own story, the pain from
thorns of traveling through dark woods of living 
drew a protective container around me
to keep wolves (and men) away. 

 I built armor around myself, 
and guarded the door to my life - 
quite aggressively...
during this process, 
I found a wolf inside me as well. 

After years of therapy & healing,  
my inner wolf became a trusted ally,
a sacred protector, a guide & advisor.

Less afraid & defensive, 
I was then able to see & appreciate... 
there is a wolf inside all of us; 
a wolf that preys 
and a wolf that guides & protects.

Knowing this supported me in opening up 
and being more trusting in relationships, 
especially with men.
Meeting Wolf to Wolf

I have come out of darkness
and am on the other side. 
I have shed blood that has nurtured 
the bloom of light in me.

I now have wisdom, power & grace 
that I would not have
had I not experienced what I did
in my earlier life
on my own journey of
Little Red Riding Hood.

It is part of my Sacred Wound

I am the one who can be
in the Wild Woods of Life.
I am not afraid of the bad wolf, 
or of devious men.

I trust in the evolution of boy to man,
and girl to women.
I know the healing that can happen
in the heart space.
I can live it forward in my life
and honor this in others as well.

I know & trust the set of skills 
I have in my basket of goodies now.

I have learned & grown
from past experiences
in a way that expands my Now.

I am a wise & available woman
in & on the adventure of life.

How does the journey of Little Red Riding Hood 
mirror & inspire your life? 

- When did you set out into the Wild Woods of Life? 
- What wolves did you meet along the way? 
- What is your relationship with your grandmother? 
- How does your inner wolf protect & guide you now? 

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Passage Through A Year

This is a good time of year 
to reflect on your rotation through the cycles 
of life on the Medicine Wheel 
and your journey through the seasons of 2017. 

This blog highlights questions 

that are wonderful to journey with
through Meditation, Journaling, SoulCollage,
Movement & Wild Ponderings.

Featured here are SoulCollage creations
and photography I took this year, in each season.  
Father Time SoulCollage 

Beginning your reflection of the year
with last Winter Solstice & the start of this year;
What birthings were activated in you?
What visions did you have for the journey ahead? 

My friend HugHealer took this picture of me;
peering through my emergence 

from the UnderWorld. Winter 2017

Moving awareness into seeing
your emergence throughout Spring
What came alive for you?  
What parts of your garden flourished? 
What started to bloom in your life? 

I got my RV !!!
Wild Soul Wanderings came to life.
Spring 2017

Reflecting on your Summer escapades
of Body, Mind & Spirit.
What powers did you cultivate? 
What choices did you make? 
What relationships did you nurture? 

I had a fun summer romance,
and tapped into the magic of the Lighthouse
as a beacon for my journey in the MiddleWorld.
Summer 2017

 Taking a moment to reflect 
on your journey through Autumn;
...the season now coming to an end. 
What did you release as compost? 
What wisdom's were harvested this year? 

Image taken on East Coast adventure
for my Initiation into the MiddleWorld.
Click Here to Read That Blog  

Now we prepare to step into Winter again. 
The cycle spins, bringing us back to an ending 
and a beginning. 
In the growing darkness, we find a light. 
What wants to rest?
What new dreams want to come through?

SoulCollage...honoring the spin of the journey 
 What resources do you have access to
that support the endurance & emergence of Soul? 
These resources may be external, 
many of them are internal. 
How can you engage these resources 
and cultivate them throughout Winter
as part of your New Year Activation? 

SoulCollage honoring Buffalo, a totem for Winter;
cultivates endurance through the dark
and bare season of deep rooting. 

Blessing to all of us
as we integrate the year 
release attachment,
surrender into flow & grace,  
and find our way 
into this new beginning of Now. 

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