Winter 2019 has come to an end...
and what a season it was!
I am so grateful Spring is here,
encouraging newness
and a living forward into the light.
This blog shares experiences
from my Winter season,
along with lessons emerging
from its depths.
Featured here also are some of my
SoulCollage cards.
Late last year I received guidance
through several meditations to look
at the theme of Leadership in my life.
Being a Leader is something
whereas cultivating tends to be
a more yin / feminine / nurturing energy.
Most of my life,
I’ve had more masculine energy.
As I move more deeply into my 2nd Adulthood,
I want to embody more feminine energy.
I saw the guidance coming through
to move from Leadership to Cultivation
as a way to soften more fully
into my feminine nature.
His death shifted a lot of dynamics
in my BodyMind complex,
and brought about a profound shift
in my father/daughter lineage.
My father no longer alive on the planet
exposed me to new layers of how
masculine & feminine energies
were present in my relationships....
...and I wasn't too happy with what I saw.
During the time of my fathers death,
I was surprised & saddened by the
absence of support, connection,
or even reach outs to me
from my friends & community.
It was another layer of abandonment
for me to experience
along with my fathers death.
Their absence provided me
an opportunity to explore
my Insignificance,
...another layer of Leadership
for me to examine.
After wallowing in my insignificance
for weeks, I flipped the switch
and asked myself, well????
"What is significant?"
What emerged for me
is that my practice is significant.
..and while there is a layer of insignificance
connected into who & what I am
in the world & to others,
there is a level of significance
I CAN connect into & live everyday.
Living my personal practice,
which is built upon Kindness & Service,
engages a significant act of being
into the wholeness
of the present moment.
Living my practice
as an active form of prayer
creates significance in my life.
This understanding deepened
my devotion to my practice,
and it become a healing balm for me,
soothing the many layers of
sadness & loneliness I was feeling.
As Spring moves into being,
I am called to condense my Winter lessons
into seeds of wisdom for my forward blooming.
Here are some of my initial observations.
When the concept of
Leadership vs. Cultivation
initially came through for me,
I saw it through an external lens.
My focus was more yang focused,
on the outside world & others:
Leading others...
Cultivating others...
Being significant to others....
As I soften into the feminine grace
of these teachings, and understand
my aloneness in a new way,
I am called to cultivate these lessons
in a more yin, internal way:
Cultivating myself...
Leading myself...
Living significance into my own life.
My experiences this Winter showed me
how much my ego loves external validation.
I saw how my "wounded inner child"
wanted so deeply to be loved and valued
by family, friends & community
as a way to validate
my significance in the world.
The absence of all these layers
during the fragile state of my Winter sadness
brought me back to my core,
and reminded me
of the richest & truest form
of support & nurturance in my life;
my personal soul practice.
I can live a high level of significance in my life
by continually cultivating my thoughts & actions
to be in alignment with my core vows of soulful living.
Living my core values and offering
my unique soul light into the moment
is how I bring a significant act
of presence & love into the Now.
How my actions ripple out in the world
and influence others is beyond my control.
I am working to release my attachment
of wanting from others,
and finding joy & peace
simply by living my most soulful life.
...it's an on-going practice.
SoulFul Contemplations
* What wisdoms are coming through
from your Winter experiences?
* What are your deepest soul vows,
and how are you living them everyday?
* How do you live a significant life?
* What are you devoted to and
how do you live this devotion?
* What, Who & How do you cultivate?
* What, Who & How do you lead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you'd like to learn how to create
your own deck of SoulCollage cards
here's a link
to my on-line training video.
and what a season it was!
I am so grateful Spring is here,
encouraging newness
and a living forward into the light.
This blog shares experiences
from my Winter season,
along with lessons emerging
from its depths.
Featured here also are some of my
SoulCollage cards.
through several meditations to look
at the theme of Leadership in my life.
Being a Leader is something
I've always dreamed of being,
even as a child.
Even though I didn't know
exactly what I wanted to lead,
I knew I wanted to be on the front-line
charging movement
towards something good.
towards something good.
As Winter crept in, I explored
the theme of Leadership,
and saw many ways I’ve fallen short
of having the impact & influence
I've wanted to have in the world.
the theme of Leadership,
and saw many ways I’ve fallen short
of having the impact & influence
I've wanted to have in the world.
I questioned if I should release
Leadership as an aspiration???
If I didn't do so well with it
during my First Adulthood,
maybe I should release this goal
for my Second Adulthood
...find something I'm more suitable for???
Leadership as an aspiration???
If I didn't do so well with it
during my First Adulthood,
maybe I should release this goal
for my Second Adulthood
...find something I'm more suitable for???
I asked Universe to give me
another word to explore.
If I was to give up Leadership,
I needed something else to fill its void...
The response that emerged
is that I am to be a Cultivator.
I was not happy, inspired or thrilled
when this message came through.
Being a Cultivator sounds wimpy,
and like someone who lives on the sidelines.
I was triggered by this guidance,
however, the lesson was mine to explore.
I gave it a try... and discovered...
cultivating others takes a lot more
effort, energy & focus then leadership does.
...and a lot more patience too!
It's also a bit challenging for my ego...
which really likes recognition.
another word to explore.
If I was to give up Leadership,
I needed something else to fill its void...
The response that emerged
is that I am to be a Cultivator.
I was not happy, inspired or thrilled
when this message came through.
Being a Cultivator sounds wimpy,
and like someone who lives on the sidelines.
I was triggered by this guidance,
however, the lesson was mine to explore.
I gave it a try... and discovered...
cultivating others takes a lot more
effort, energy & focus then leadership does.
...and a lot more patience too!
It's also a bit challenging for my ego...
which really likes recognition.
Side Note: Leadership tends to be
a more yang / masculine / driving energy;
a more yin / feminine / nurturing energy.
Most of my life,
I’ve had more masculine energy.
As I move more deeply into my 2nd Adulthood,
I want to embody more feminine energy.
I saw the guidance coming through
to move from Leadership to Cultivation
as a way to soften more fully
into my feminine nature.
As I was exploring this concept
and feeling sadness around
releasing & reshaping core aspects
and feeling sadness around
releasing & reshaping core aspects
of my life's dreams & visions...
my father died. His death shifted a lot of dynamics
in my BodyMind complex,
and brought about a profound shift
in my father/daughter lineage.
My father no longer alive on the planet
exposed me to new layers of how
masculine & feminine energies
were present in my relationships....
...and I wasn't too happy with what I saw.
During the time of my fathers death,
I was surprised & saddened by the
absence of support, connection,
or even reach outs to me
from my friends & community.
It was another layer of abandonment
for me to experience
along with my fathers death.
Their absence provided me
an opportunity to explore
my Insignificance,
...another layer of Leadership
for me to examine.
After wallowing in my insignificance
for weeks, I flipped the switch
and asked myself, well????
"What is significant?"
What emerged for me
is that my practice is significant.
..and while there is a layer of insignificance
connected into who & what I am
in the world & to others,
there is a level of significance
I CAN connect into & live everyday.
which is built upon Kindness & Service,
engages a significant act of being
into the wholeness
of the present moment.
Living my practice
as an active form of prayer
creates significance in my life.
This understanding deepened
my devotion to my practice,
and it become a healing balm for me,
soothing the many layers of
sadness & loneliness I was feeling.
As Spring moves into being,
I am called to condense my Winter lessons
into seeds of wisdom for my forward blooming.
Here are some of my initial observations.
When the concept of
Leadership vs. Cultivation
initially came through for me,
I saw it through an external lens.
My focus was more yang focused,
on the outside world & others:
Leading others...
Cultivating others...
Being significant to others....
As I soften into the feminine grace
of these teachings, and understand
my aloneness in a new way,
I am called to cultivate these lessons
in a more yin, internal way:
Cultivating myself...
Leading myself...
Living significance into my own life.
My experiences this Winter showed me
how much my ego loves external validation.
I saw how my "wounded inner child"
wanted so deeply to be loved and valued
by family, friends & community
as a way to validate
my significance in the world.
The absence of all these layers
during the fragile state of my Winter sadness
brought me back to my core,
and reminded me
of the richest & truest form
of support & nurturance in my life;
my personal soul practice.
I can live a high level of significance in my life
by continually cultivating my thoughts & actions
to be in alignment with my core vows of soulful living.
Living my core values and offering
my unique soul light into the moment
is how I bring a significant act
of presence & love into the Now.
How my actions ripple out in the world
and influence others is beyond my control.
I am working to release my attachment
of wanting from others,
and finding joy & peace
simply by living my most soulful life.
...it's an on-going practice.
* What wisdoms are coming through
from your Winter experiences?
* What are your deepest soul vows,
and how are you living them everyday?
* How do you live a significant life?
* What are you devoted to and
how do you live this devotion?
* What, Who & How do you cultivate?
* What, Who & How do you lead?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
your own deck of SoulCollage cards
here's a link
to my on-line training video.
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