As part of my initiation
into my Second Adulthood,
I visited my childhood neighborhood
in San Diego, CA.
You can read more about this in my blog
"Trip Down Memory Lane"
On this trip, there were 4 locations into my Second Adulthood,
I visited my childhood neighborhood
in San Diego, CA.
You can read more about this in my blog
"Trip Down Memory Lane"
I wanted to visit on a one block radius.
You can read about Location #3 in my blog
"Inspired by Decapitation"
Now to share a bit about Locations 1 & 2;
2 houses on a cult-a-sac
in a suburban neighborhood
next to the Tijuana border.
This is where I received the initial fracture
between my Sacral & Heart Chakras,
and my Sacred Wound
from the Divine Masculine.
Location #1
The house I grew up in.
It is here, where the Divine Masculine,
in the form of my father,
pushed my life force away,
and instilled in me a deep fear of Man.
Location #2
The house of a childhood friend.
It is here, where the Divine Masculine,
in the form of a friends father,
molested me for several years.
Here is a SoulCollage card I created
around these two energies in my life.
The polarity of these experiences,
the pushing away & devouring of
by these 2 men,
over several years,
created many conflicting beliefs in me
about my sexuality & value as a female.
Many of these beliefs traveled with me
into adulthood, greatly influencing
how I expressed & repressed
my sexuality and interacted with men.
As I enter this new phase of my life
I am seeing beliefs that no longer serve me,
or the larger vision I have for love & relationship
with myself & man.
To prepare for my visit
to Locations 1 & 2
I engaged in a 3 night ceremony process.
Night One
In shamanic journey space,
I called on the Divine Masculine
to show up in a way that felt safe & vital.
I was retuning to a childhood location
where I was introduced to
shadow aspects of man...
now I wanted something filled with light.
An Angel appeared.
It was wonderful to see
the light of the Divine in this form.
The Angel & I connected
in this ethereal space of consciousness.
We eye gazed, heart connected
and became familiar with one another.
I felt safe & inspired.
Night Two
I called the male Angel back into journey space,
this time we met at the top of the cult-a-sac
of the street where I grew up.
I wanted his light anchored there
for my future arrival in the flesh.
and became familiar with one another.
I felt safe & inspired.
Night Two
I called the male Angel back into journey space,
this time we met at the top of the cult-a-sac
of the street where I grew up.
I wanted his light anchored there
for my future arrival in the flesh.
We sat side by side on the hot asphalt
between Locations 1 & 2
and rooted our connection & presence
into that space. It was nice
to have him there with me
into that space. It was nice
to have him there with me
for my first “visit” back to this location.
Night Three
I met the male Angel at the top of the cult-a-sac,
and this time, I shared with him
I met the male Angel at the top of the cult-a-sac,
and this time, I shared with him
stories of what happened in these 2 locations.
He held my hand,
put his winged arm around me,
and listened.
He did not think less of me
for having had these experiences.
for having had these experiences.
I told him of the defense mechanisms
I created from these 2 experiences
and how they influenced
my life & relationships with men.
I told him about the model of Wholeness
I am now living, and my desire
I am now living, and my desire
to alchemize poison from these experiences
so I can turn them into an elixir
that inspires my current service model of living.
that inspires my current service model of living.
The male Angel listened...
and loved Me.
Being held in the gaze & space
of the Divine Masculine in this way
during each of these 3 nights of ceremony
supported me deeply during my in-person visit,
which I'll share about in a future blog.
I am so grateful for my practice
and the tools I've gathered over the years
to support me in healing the past,
and empowering my now,
so my future has more light in it.
I am so grateful for my practice
and the tools I've gathered over the years
to support me in healing the past,
and empowering my now,
so my future has more light in it.
Ponderings for your Wild Soul Wanderings
* What places hold powerful memories for you?
* What is your Sacred Wound?
* What limiting beliefs do you have around your life force?
* What is your Sacred Wound?
* What limiting beliefs do you have around your life force?
* How were these beliefs initially formed?
* How have these beliefs influenced your life?
* What fractures in your being are ready for connection?
* How have these beliefs influenced your life?
* What fractures in your being are ready for connection?
* What new beliefs are you ready to live?
* What angels are available to support your wholeing?
* What angels are available to support your wholeing?
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