Adventure through the Elements

The Elements are a core part of our everyday world. 

Earth.  Water.  Fire.  Air. 

Elements are the building blocks of all creation.

Relating with the EcoSystem of the Moment 
through its Elemental Components
opens amazing portals for self-reflection
and expanded appreciation for life.

This blog highlights aspects of the Elements
to inspire your own Wild Soul Wanderings.
May this information deepen your explorations
of the world both around & within you.
Featured here as well is my photography & SoulCollage.

Each element vibrates at a different frequency,
and has its own unique expression of Life Force.

As we apprentice to Elemental Teachings from nature
we are able to work with elemental qualities within us
our own being as well,
on Physical, Mental & Spiritual levels;
As Above. So Below.

Let's journey through the Elements  
and explore some of their fundamental properties.

Earth 

Earth is the foundation upon which you live.
Earth is dense & solid. 
It has shape & form; edges & boundaries. 

It is the manifest realm of being.

The flesh & bones of embodiment. 

Earth grounds Essence into Form. 

Hoh River, Washington State 

Water 

Water is a true Shape Shifter. 

It expands & contracts; Liquid, Solid, Gas.
Ocean. Rain. Tears. Sweat. Blood. 

It Dissolves. It Melts. 

It Cleanses. It Destroys. 

Water is the elixir that sustains life on this planet.

Valley View Hot Springs, Colorado

Fire

Fire does not follow the pathway of least resistance.

It rises up against forces of gravity. 

It lights & burns its own path. 

Fire transforms matter 

into Heat, Light & Energy. 

Fire is the true element of Alchemy. 

Anza Borrego Desert; California

Air

Breath is life force energy.
Your first inhalation & last exhalation 

are experiences that bracket your life.  

Inhalations bring oxygen into your body,

Exhalations release carbon dioxide to the planet. 
Together, oxygen breathing animals & plants

create the Respiratory System of the planet. 

We breathe life into being. 

Explore Your World

Notice traits of the elements around you
and also how these traits are present in you.

- How is Earth present in your physical body? 
- How is water moving your emotional being?
- How is fire burning in your living? 
- How is air influencing your life force?

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of the elements, celebrating their beauty
in the outside world, and honoring
their influence of inner world too.

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Embracing Aloneness

Autumn is a powerful time 
to reflect on your journey through the year;

harvesting wisdom from your life experiences, 
and releasing restrictions & resentments
as compost for new beginnings
 coming through with the New Year. 

As I reflect on my year of 2019
I honor the themes of sadness & aloneness  

that have been overarching companions
for me as I lived this 2nd year 

of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship. 

My year began with my father‘s death. 

My initial response to this news 
was a profound sense of freedom.
A weight I'd been carrying for years
was instantly released.

However, after the initial rush wore off, 

a deep level of sadness enveloped me. 

I saw how much the fear I'd been holding onto
for so many years as a result of
my relationship with my bio parents   

has constricted my life in so many ways.
So many opportunities lost. 

I shared some of my sadness around this 

on social media & was absolutely surprised 

by the lack of support and/or reach outs to me 

from people I had relationships with
that had seen my posts. 

From close friends to acquaintances, 

the critical mass of no one reaching out to me 
in real & connected ways 
in response to my sharing of hurt & sadness
spiraled me into a deep sense of aloneness. 

As I moved through my heavy feelings 
of sadness, hurt and abandonment, 
I continued to stay devoted to
the vows and intentions
of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship. 

Staying in service to humanity 
even when I felt hurt & abandoned by it 
 was a powerful learning process.

This blog shares the 5 main stages 
I've been moving through as I experience
 and continue to process the aloneness of my 2019.
Featured here is some of my photography 
and a few of my SoulCollage creations.

1.  Saying Yes 

With none of my core circle 
reaching out to me during my dark hours,
I made a decision to say Yes 

to those that did reach out to me. 
I wanted to honor & open up to 
what the universe WAS bringing my way. 

Saying Yes to all that came forward 

took me into some interesting interactions
and helped me create new connections.  

It also helped me clarify that not everybody 

that wants to spend time with me 

is someone I want to spend time with. 

This helped me validate
I would rather spend time alone 

then be with another person that requires 

so much effort to be in shared space with. 

Having this clarity helped me find 

increased value in my aloneness

and decreased some of my internal ache. 

 

2. One-on-One Conversations

I initiated conversations with several people
to share with them my hurt, 
and let them know I had come to see
 a pattern in most of my relationships. 

Throughout most of my life, 
and in many of my relationships,
I am the initiator of connection. 

I am most often the one that reaches out
with date ideas and am the one
that leads adventure experiences.

I've always had the tendency to be a leader, 
however, I was not aware how prevalent
this trait had become in my life.
Not only was it a theme of my professional life,
it's been predominant in my personal life too.

I shared with others I no longer want to be
the one always initiating contact & connection. 
As I continue to practice saying Yes,   
I also want to practice Responding.

I let others know if they wanted to connect,
the ball was in their court.
 It's been interesting to see the effects of this shift. 

Without me taking the lead at cultivating connection 

most of my relationships have faded away. 

On the flip side, there have been several relationships 

that have stepped up & forward, and as a result,
 our connection has deepened.
That's been lovely too. 

3. Core Denominator

As I moved through layers of 

forgiveness & acceptance 

towards the people I felt let down by, 

I knew I had to look in the mirror as well. 

I was the common denominator 

in all these relationships. 

There was a level of ownership 

I needed to take around creating a life

that lacked so much depth with other humans. 

In this reflection process, 

I had to name, own and ultimately forgive 

my controlling tendencies 

and the boundaries I have around intimacy. 

Now that my father is dead  

there is an opportunity for me 

to create new ways of being in relationship
with others and the world in general. 

With my father no longer alive on the planet
space opens up for me to release
another layer of constriction & protection
around how I guard my personal space.

4. Giving What I Want to Receive

As I went through this process 

it was important to me that I continue 

to engage & live the vows 
of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship,

of which, 2 of my core intentions are:  

engaging kindness & interacting with 

the wild animal of my species.  

My practice this year
has been to not become jaded

and not pull back from people 
as a result of my hurt.
But rather, to give to others 
what I would want to receive,
even when I am not getting what I want in return.

This has been a big learning edge for me; 

extending myself into the world with kindness 

for the sake of being kind, 

and not expecting anything in return 

other then the satisfaction of me living 

one of my deep soul vows. 

5. Release Projections of Desire

When I interact with someone amazing, 

I often project a future state onto them, 

a fantasy that we'll connect again, 

and continue to drive aliveness 

into & through an on-going relationship. 

My learning edge now 

is to be present in an experience 

and be with it how it is in the moment,

and not project a future state 

onto someone or something

based on my desire of how I would like 

to see our connection grow. 

My goal is not to diminish my desires, 

but rather to eliminate my projection 

of them onto others. 

I still have the desire for deep connection 

and intimacy in my life, 

however, this year showed me 
I was projecting my desires onto others
of what I thought friendship 

and compassion should look like, 

and when that did not manifest 

I was filled with sadness & a deep feeling of loss.

My experience this year helped me understand 
several different tiers of relating with humans,
which I'll share more about in my next blog. 
Defining these levels of connection
helped me release my projections
of want onto others, and helped me deepen
the friendship I have with myself
and the fullness of an individual moment.

As so, as the year winds down 
I find myself in deep gratitude
for all the sadness & loneliness
I experienced throughout 2019.

My fathers passage is catapulting me
into a new layer of healing & wholeing,
and in that process many of my relationships
have faded away, along with
belief patterns & defense mechanisms
that are no longer needed.

Moving through these 5 stages
throughout the year,
has cleared my life of so much.
And, in the space of emptiness that formed,
new opportunities are starting to emerge.
New relationships & beliefs
that will carry me forward into Year 3
of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship.

I am still practicing saying YES more often,
and continuing to practice Responding
to the world when it reaches out to me.
I have greatly diminished my projections
of desire onto others, and have found
a richer connection with self
and the aloneness that has been
a central theme of my life

Without the expansive experience of loss
that permeated my year of 2019
I would not have had the impetus
to deepen my commitment to my practice
in the way that I did.
I am grateful and more attuned now
to the vows & intentions
of my MiddleWorld Living.

Contemplations 

- What lessons do you learn from your aloneness?  

- What conversations want to come forward 

in your relationships? 

- What desires do you project onto others?

- What forgiveness can you offer others 

for not living up to your fantasies?  

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Cultivating Significance

Winter 2019 has come to an end...
and what a season it was!

I am so grateful Spring is here, 
encouraging newness 
and a living forward into the light. 

This blog shares experiences 
from my Winter season, 
along with lessons emerging 
from its depths. 

Featured here also are some of my
 SoulCollage cards. 

Late last year I received guidance 
through several meditations to look 
at the theme of Leadership in my life. 

Being a Leader is something 

I've always dreamed of being, 

even as a child.  

Even though I didn't know 

exactly what I wanted to lead, 

I knew I wanted to be on the front-line 

charging movement 
towards something good. 

As Winter crept in, I explored 
the theme of Leadership, 
and saw many ways I’ve fallen short  
of having the impact & influence 
I've wanted to have in the world.  

I questioned if I should release
Leadership as an aspiration???
If I didn't do so well with it
during my First Adulthood,
maybe I should release this goal
for my Second Adulthood
...find something I'm more suitable for??? 

I asked Universe to give me
 another word to explore.
If I was to give up Leadership,
I needed something else to fill its void...
The response that emerged
is that I am to be a Cultivator. 

I was not happy, inspired or thrilled
when this message came through.
Being a Cultivator sounds wimpy, 
 and like someone who lives on the sidelines.

I was triggered by this guidance,
however, the lesson was mine to explore.
I gave it a try... and discovered...
cultivating others takes a lot more
effort, energy & focus then leadership does.
...and a lot more patience too! 

It's also a bit challenging for my ego...
which really likes recognition. 

Side Note: Leadership tends to be 

a more yang / masculine / driving energy;  

whereas cultivating tends to be 
a more yin / feminine / nurturing energy. 

Most of my life, 
I’ve had more masculine energy.   
As I move more deeply into my 2nd Adulthood, 
I want to embody more feminine energy. 

I saw the guidance coming through 
to move from Leadership to Cultivation 
as a way to soften more fully 
into my feminine nature. 

As I was exploring this concept
and feeling sadness around 
releasing & reshaping core aspects 

of my life's dreams & visions...

my father died. 

His death shifted a lot of dynamics 
in my BodyMind complex,
and brought about a profound shift 
in my father/daughter lineage. 

My father no longer alive on the planet 
exposed me to new layers of how 
masculine & feminine energies  
were present in my relationships.... 
...and I wasn't too happy with what I saw. 

During the time of my fathers death, 
I was surprised & saddened by the 
absence of support, connection,
or even reach outs to me 
from my friends & community.  

It was another layer of abandonment 
for me to experience
along with my fathers death. 

Their absence provided me 
an opportunity to explore 
my Insignificance,  
...another layer of Leadership 
for me to examine. 

After wallowing in my insignificance 
for weeks, I flipped the switch
and asked myself, well???? 
"What is significant?" 

What emerged for me 
is that my practice is significant.
  
..and while there is a layer of insignificance
connected into who & what I am 
in the world & to others,  
there is a level of significance 
I CAN connect into & live everyday. 

Living my personal practice, 
which is built upon Kindness & Service, 
engages a significant act of being
into the wholeness 
of the present moment. 

Living my practice
as an active form of prayer
creates significance in my life. 

This understanding deepened 
my devotion to my practice,   
and it become a healing balm for me,  
 soothing the many layers of 
sadness & loneliness I was feeling. 

As Spring moves into being, 
I am called to condense my Winter lessons 
into seeds of wisdom for my forward blooming. 
Here are some of my initial observations.  

When the concept of 
Leadership vs. Cultivation 
initially came through for me, 
I saw it through an external lens.
My focus was more yang focused,  
on the outside world & others: 
Leading others...
Cultivating others... 
Being significant to others....

As I soften into the feminine grace 
of these teachings, and understand 
my aloneness in a new way,
I am called to cultivate these lessons
in a more yin, internal way: 
Cultivating myself...
Leading myself...
Living significance into my own life. 

My experiences this Winter showed me
how much my ego loves external validation.
I saw how my "wounded inner child"
wanted so deeply to be loved and valued
by family, friends & community
as a way to validate
my significance in the world.

The absence of all these layers
during the fragile state of my Winter sadness
brought me back to my core,
and reminded me
of the richest & truest form
of support & nurturance in my life;
my personal soul practice. 
 
I can live a high level of significance in my life
by continually cultivating my thoughts & actions
to be in alignment with my core vows of soulful living. 

Living my core values and offering
my unique soul light into the moment
is how I bring a significant act
of presence & love into the Now.

How my actions ripple out in the world
and influence others is beyond my control.
I am working to release my attachment
of wanting from others,
and finding joy & peace
simply by living my most soulful life. 

...it's an on-going practice. 

 SoulFul Contemplations
* What wisdoms are coming through 
from your Winter experiences? 

* What are your deepest soul vows, 
and how are you living them everyday? 

* How do you live a significant life? 

* What are you devoted to and 
how do you live this devotion? 

* What, Who & How do you cultivate? 

* What, Who & How do you lead? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you'd like to learn how to create 
your own deck of SoulCollage cards
here's a link 
to my on-line training video. 

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